I have invited the entire family to dinner next Sunday at a restaurant of their choice in Gaborone. Bone and Sedi are working on finding us a place. During our journey to Manyana yesterday, I asked Bone if I could ask him a possibly embarrassing question. He happily said yes, and also yes to my question which was did he have a girlfriend. Is she important to you, I continued. Yes, he replied. In that case, may I meet her at dinner next Sunday? Will she come? Bone replied, with a smile, that he thought she would come. As you will remember from an earlier post, the mother of Sedi's daughter was unable to come with him when he brought Anele to meet me. Sedi has promised that he will bring Thosana on next Sunday.
As we relaxed during the morning, Anita and I refreshed our manicures. We were both looking ragged, and she wanted someone other than her to paint her nails. Unfortunately, she chose to wash dishes too early, thinking that being outside in the sun had dried them more than they actually were. Some things need attention no matter how far you are away from home!
The procession of friends and family began with the two neighbors who have visited several times.
We know each other now, and still can not communicate. We simply nod and smile because everything they say to us is said in happy voices with smiling faces. If Njale is near she will sometimes translate, and sometimes not. They offered a lovely white sateen shawl with long fringe to me for $300 pula (about $40). Although it was lovely I refused as I don't wear shawls. They left on as a gift for Njale, and some fringe to use with a sewing project in the future.Lunch was ready soon after their visit and we decided to eat on the porch outside. I scrubbed the table, then needed to mop the tiled floor, and all was dry by the time the table needed to be set. We used a tablecloth that Njale had had painted during the time she was exploring that craft. (NOTE: Njale kindly shared some of her handpainted cloth to use as filler and padding for the boxes we sent home. I'll be sharing this fabric at some programs I have been asked to prepare for the library and probably Harmony Hall.) The five of us sat down to Sunday lunch of roasted chicken (raised by Njale at her chicken farm in Kumekwane), cabbage/onion/carrot slaw (also raised in a small garden at the chicken farm and cut fresh this morning), lettuce and cucumber salad, rice, and rape (tastes like spinach and raised at the chicken farm). Just as we finished and got the table cleared, dishes done and leftovers stored, the procession began.
Lately Anita and I have felt a little like animals on display at the local zoo. Apparently part of Botswana culture, EVERYONE who knows Njale or Brian must come to meet Anita and me. Mostly me because I am part of Brian's American family, and many assume Anita is my sister since we are traveling together. There is little we can do to change their minds, so we don't try too much any more.
We had visits from a young man who had lived in the rondeval in the compound with 2 other foster sons of a man who rented from Brian and Njale. Njale was quite proud of this young man who came with his wife of about two years and their 8 month old daughter. The upbringing offered by his foster father kept this young man in school successfully and he is in the armed forces now. They stayed as long as an 8 month child can be satisfied.
Soon after them came a grand daughter of the Disale family with her Norwegian husband Marcus and their 6 month old daughter Sasha (who was predicted to be a son, and was a big surprise at her birth). She considered Brian to be her uncle since her grandparents had adopted him as a son. She was probably one of the small children running around during the wedding celebrations in the Disale compound in 1990. She teaches fashion design at one of the for profit universities that have opened in Gaborone. Marcus teaches watchmaking and is a watchmaker, and spends his time in Johannesburg where the school is. It is about a 4-5 hour drive between Johannesburg and Gaborone/Moshupa, so it was special for them to spend time with us. We had easy conversation with these visitors because they spoke wonderful English. Refilwe cares for Sasha sometimes, so she helped with the baby as did the sister of Marcus' wife. Sorry, I didn't capture her name in my memory.
Soon, two women stopped by after church, friends of Njale's and from Kumakwane. We were told we had met one of the women just last week in Kumakwane and begged forgiveness for not remembering them. They moved to the porch with Njale and moved inside with us after Marcus' and his family left. We talked easily with them again in English. One lady teaches Setswana at a school and I said I should come to learn with her. She advised against it, saying it was a very difficult language to learn and I would do better to stick with English. English is the official language of Botswana and most people can speak it a little. Generally, the younger the person, the more English as it is taught in all public schools. As she and her friend left, she told us we should have planned 2 weeks in Cairo and Egypt and that we will be disappointed we did not. She would have come with us if school wasn't getting ready to restart after this break.
They had no more left us, when the gate to the compound opened again and this time 8 people arrived - 4 adult women and the children of two of them. These were Njale's adopted sisters and they also have 2 brothers who did not come. The 8 individuals got out of a car the size of a small Toyota (seemingly the most popular car in Botswana). In order from youngest to oldest was Rachel with her three children (2 girls and a boy), Kristen, Adelaide and Josephine (with her daughter Pamela). We had great fun with this family - the children were full of laughter, and the 2 sisters who we met just day before yesterday forgave our bad memories. I immediately remembered meeting Kristen when I was reminded of her name. I told her then that I would have no trouble remembering her name since my middle name is Christine. Such is the memory of someone who is meeting new people on a daily basis.
From top to bottom and left to right: Josephine, Kristen, Refilwe, Rachel's son, Pamela, Njale, Adelaide, Rachel's older daughter, Rachel, Rachel's younger daughter.
I blamed it on being 61, which happily no one seems to believe. One lady asked me how it was that I had so much energy, Njale's friend who teaches setswana and who wants to retire as soon as possible since she in NOW 60. I told her I beat her because I was 61. It's not possible - how can you be so energetic? I told her I laughed a lot and played with my husband. With a wink, she said that was a good thing to do. I told her that one day a few years after we were married, Jim had told me that 'if I every grew up, he might divorce me.' That brought another laugh, and I told her that this coming Friday would be our 38th anniversary. She agreed when I told her Jim and I would celebrate when I returned home next month.
With each visit, photos were taken, some by Anita and some by me. At one point during our last visiting group, Anita's battery died and so I took over. Finally everyone left, including Sedi, who lasted the afternoon by napping, since most of the visitors were women. He probably did the right thing.
Sedi is the older of my two nephews and I had similar conversations with both of them yesterday and today. I wanted them to know that as the new male heads of this family, I expected them to be ready to do everything necessary to keep the family safe and secure. I also asked that they keep in touch with me or Jim in case they needed our assistance. I reassured them that despite the distance, we would still love them and that they would always be part of the Trennepohl family. The problem of distance was something that we would need to accept, and find ways around. I also asked each of them to share their personal plans for their futures.
Bone and Sedi both hope to return to school to better their chanced in their current positions. Sedi tells me he loves the mother of his daughter and hopes to eventually marry her, but he must make some important decisions first, such as get his own place to live. He now lives with her family, which is a bit unusual in this culture. Bone tells me that the girl I hope to meet is very special to him, and he just smiled when I suggested that my next visit might be for his wedding.
The two young men in their mid 20s have had a lot of responsibility placed in their hands. I believe they respect me and will think about our conversations. This is not to say that Njale needs a lot of help. I have learned more about her resilience during this visit than I expected. In addition to the rental house in the Moshupa compound, she is completing the second of two rental homes in Kumakwane.
She had developed the chicken raising facility and slaughtering house with the help of a government grant around the time Brian retired as headmaster. At that time they had difficulties getting contracts for their chickens and reliable employees to make it work. Njale is determined to revitalize this production facility and tells us she can probably raise around 5-7,000 chickens at a time in 4 buildings. One building is rented now and a man is raising a small amount of chickens for slaughter. She has two small flocks of guinea hens and a flock of chickens in Moshupa. We ate several of them during our time here.
Finally, I learned that Njale owns outright and in her name 10 hectares or over 2000 acres of 'ploughable' land outside Moshupa, about an hour or two away. She rents 2-4 acres now and has raised corn, maize, sorghum, rape, watermelons and other vegetables. It is fenced and only needs a house for a caretaker to live in and all of it could be in production. This sister-in-law of mine is a wonder, and is deeply respected by many of her neighbors here in Moshupa and Kumakwane. I believe that once the shock of losing Brian so unexpectedly lessens, she will make a good life for herself and her family. She is one determined lady!
Tonight on Botswana satellite TV, the third season of a reality show began. While similar to the BIG BROTHER (I think that is the correct title as I don't watch reality TV), this show is presented on a single channel that devotes 24 hours a day for the next 91 days. 12 participants - 1 from each of 12 African countries - were introduced tonight and were put inside the house, where EVERYTHING is visible and shown through the cameras. The last person in the house will win $100,000 US dollars. House members lose their right to remain because the viewers text message their votes. A correspondant from each of the countries will keep the viewers up-to-date on how the 12 countries are talking about the participants. Refilwe had told us that a program was beginning at 7 pm and that she wanted to watch it. As Anita finished posting to her blog, I watched the first hour during which I saw the inside of the house, the foreign correspondants and none of the participants.
I'm about done for today. Tomorrow, we will go shopping for fabric for Refilwe's graduation dress, boxes to ship items home after we return from Kasane. We want to lighten our luggage, and we have received gifts that will not fit in our luggage.
If I am unable to post tomorrow, it will probably be Friday before I post again. We leave on Tuesday for Kasane and our short safari in Chobe National Game Preserve. Until then, goodnight.
