Brian's memorial - August 23, 2008

As I finished my post from yesterday, Njale came come with new tires and more flowers for the garden we have been creating as a place of rest, relation and contemplation. When we finished planting the new flowers, transplanting some from other garden spots in the compound and watering everything, we were ready for the memorial service. Brian's ashes will be placed in one particular spot where he will watch over his family. and Njale can sit and talk to him as she wishes.

Refilwe was not home from her trip by the time we all went to bed last evening. Her bus return was delayed almost 4 hours, hours that Bone spent sitting at her school and waiting. We are very grateful for his willingness to do this so we did not need a late date trip to Gaborone.

By the time Njale awakened Anita and me at 5:30 am, Bone was stretched out on the couch were he had spent the night. Refilwe was waking up and Sedi soon arrived. As we sat in the living room together, small portions of Brian's ashes were measured out for each member of his family and put in small pots for them to take to their homes and bedrooms. And, then we all walked to the garden in the night of early morning.

Only a little light was showing in the east and as I looked up at the stars I saw my old friend, Orion, who I love seeing in the winter sky at home. He too was part of the stories in Australia, but was not visible last evening. There he was in the morning sky, guarding all of us as we prepared to say our final good by to Brian.

Soon each of us had taken portions of the ashes and tossed them into the opening we had created last evening. Njale took a small portion to put in the hole we dug at the top of the double concrete heart that is the centerpiece of the garden. A bench sits at the top of the heart and the small hole is now an area filled and easily identified. Brian will sit with anyone on the bench.

After the ashes were distributed and covered with the earth, I was able to present my thoughts to the family, as Njale had asked. I talked about Orion, how wonderful it had been to find him in the sky, and to know that all of Brian's family will share this constellation over the course of each year. Orion will join us despite the distance between us. Then I shared a poem that I have given as a gift for a number of reasons - birthdays, promotions, retirements, graduations, and now a memorial. With apologies to Barbara J. Burrow, who is credited with its creation (entitled WOMAN, and used the feminine gender), I share it with you now....

BRIAN

That man is a success
who loves life
and lives it to the fullest;
Who has discovered and shared
the strengths and talents
that are uniquely his own;
Who puts his best into each task
and leaves each situation
better than he found it;
Who seeks and finds
that which is beautiful
in all people and things;
Whose heart is full of love
and warm with compassion'
Who has found joy in living
and peace with himself.

Anita kindly prepared breakfast for all of us while we were sorting through Brian's clothes. It is Batswanan tradition to distribute a persons clothes after his death, and Njale wanted each of us to take something - in my case, I was responsible for finding something for Jim, Dad, Jean and Ed and myself. Even Anita was encouraged to choose something.

Bone is waiting to take Anita and I to Manyana where we hope to see some ancient rock paintings. Perhaps, I'll be back later today.

For now, good bye and look for Orion when he returns to the northern skies.

Karen